I was recently working with someone who’d been badly abused over a long period of time and was still suffering emotionally.
She didn’t think he deserved her forgiveness. And she definitely didn’t want to have to go to him to say, “I forgive you.”
But she didn’t need to. And forgiving him, as I explained, was for her peace and freedom, not his. He didn’t even need to know she’d done it.
To forgive him would not be saying that what he did was ok. But she could acknowledge that he was acting from an unconscious, fear-based way of being.
Is there someone who’s hurt you that you’re refusing to forgive?
As the saying goes, holding on to anger is like holding a hot coal and expecting the other person to get burned.
Forgiving someone who’s hurt you is ALL about your inner peace and freedom.
You don’t even need to go to the other person about the matter. Forgiveness can be done in the privacy of your own mind and heart.
To forgive does not mean that what the person did to you was ok. It means you let go of what happened so that you can move on with peace.
If it still feels too hard to do, first practice bringing deep love and compassion to yourself around the matter.
Then, in the quiet privacy of your own mind and heart, visualise that person in front of you. Take some time to connect with the energy of your heart centre and the love within you. Then consciously send loving forgiveness to them. It can also be very helpful to imagine the tie between you being cut and you setting yourself free from the connection (with love).
I hope that you find this helpful. Forgiveness truly does bring freedom.